Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
