i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
