I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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