dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
