I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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