whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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