Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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