Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Houston, we have a blender
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
