Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
