Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it

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(310): View more from California

and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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(574): View more from Indiana

Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.

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(916): View more from California

It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.

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(213): View more from California

Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??

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(720): View more from Colorado

She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.

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