Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
