Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
