those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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