god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
