You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
