420 ftw
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
