Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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