HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
