pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
