Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
