Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize