In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
