she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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