that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize