i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
