The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
