I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
