I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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