yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize