Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
