glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
