I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
