I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
