"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
