I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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