We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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