Umm I'm too high to move.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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