Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
