East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Fuck appropriateness.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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