I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
