I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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