called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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