Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
