i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i've created a new STD.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
