I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
