Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
