whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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