that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize