This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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