I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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