This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
