That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
