goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
