I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
