Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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