yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
