even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
