dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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