I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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