I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
